Dear James:
I know that after this much time, I shouldn’t be surprised, but as always I can’t believe how quickly you’ve grown from this delicate creature…..
to this gangly, sensitive, creative, sassy, stubborn, hates to have your picture taken young man. Seriously the sass doesn’t stop, I have no idea what side of the family that comes from.
It has been a rough year, you’ve watched your Mom and Dad’s marriage disintegrate. You’ve moved twice in one year and changed schools. You’ve had to adjust to spending time with your parents in separate homes. We had to surrender your favorite dog Titan after he bit you.* But you’ve flourished too. You have kept in touch with your old friends, and made new ones. The boys spending the night to celebrate your birthday are a wonderful eclectic mix of kids. Though I’m wondering how fantastic I’ll be thinking they are after hosting 6 of you in a two-bedroom apartment for a night.
You’ve s had a tough time with forgiveness recently; learning the hard way that sometimes even best friends can hurt each other. Harder still, sometimes friends don’t realize that they’ve been hurtful and don’t apologize because they don’t realize what they’ve done. I can’t blame you for struggling with this after everything you’ve been through. But friends make mistakes and if you can move past that and forgive each other, you’ll be better friends down the road..
I read this recently and if you can grow up to believe these words to be true (for friends, loves of the very distant future, family) with every fiber of your being, I’d be a fairly content Mom….oh and grandbabies, those would be nice. But no pressure! You’ve got enough on your plate getting through 3rd grade.
Courtesy of Scary Mommy
This is all I care about:
Are you kind? I care that you are kind.
Do you mean well even when things don’t always work out? I care about that.
I care that you love, that you are friendly to little kids and servers in restaurants.
I need you to be nice to animals, even if they are ugly and whether or not you choose to eat them. (even if they bite you)
I care that you don’t hurt with your hands or your words.
I care that when you mess up, you admit it and that you can apologize sincerely, because of course, everyone makes a poor choice once in a while. We slip sometimes. The ability to recognize our wrongs and learn from them is more important than being perfect.
Your politics don’t matter to me. Your religion is insignificant, but I care that your words and actions aren’t based in hate.
I care that you can tolerate people who are different. I care about empathy and compassion.
I care that in the midst of the noise and clutter of our messy lives, that in the tiny moments we find to connect there is meaning, there are smiles even through tears, that we part feeling just a little bit stronger, a little more hopeful.
That we are better off because of our friendship, that we are not alone – nothing else matters.
Happy 9th Birthday James P. Davis
With Love
Mom
PS- I will never stop kissing and hugging you in public….ever.
*James is fine, but that was the last straw.