There have been two times in James’s short life that he’s been REALLY excited about underwear. The first time, he was a few months short of turning three and I’d finally landed on the bribe that would entice him to get with the potty training program. His price, Spider Man underpants, and lots of them. He was so excited to get those “unnerpants” on that he had multiple briefs on his head and bottom as soon as I had them out of the package. (Sorry pervy internet creeps, I’m not posting any kid in underpants pictures…anymore).
Today found us in a similar situation, James received a bunch of new “unnerpants.” and the air was thick with excitement. Let me set the stage for you a little bit more. Since he turned three, James’s height has been rocketing upwards, but he hasn’t put on any weight, zip, nadda, zero. I have no idea how that is possible but the pediatrician said not to worry. Yeah right!
James didn’t start putting on any weight until a few weeks ago, and what that meant was that he was wearing the same size underwear that I purchased for him back when he was potty training. Back then his fluffy bum was a size 4, which as the years passed turned into a svelte size 4. He still wanted super hero themed pants but this time he chose to sport Bat Man, and he also wanted plain and oh so grown-up boxer briefs. I expected the six sixes to billow on his lanky frame, but gasp, they didn’t.
As of this evening I’m proud, and a little relieved, to announce that James is officially wearing size sixes. They are still “unnerpants”, but instead of pulling as many briefs as will fit on his head and bottom all at the same time, he modeled each and every one of them one by one. We purchased a total 17 and the modeling process took a really long time.
All was going well with the modeling until he decided that he couldn’t wear his new underwear because he didn’t want to get them dirty. He started to pull on the old size fours, the pair that earlier in the day he insisted hurt his privates and had been in tears over, and I lost my schmdit. I’d just spent more money than I thought kid undies should cost, and he was going to wear them or go to bed right this instant so help me God!. Parenting is wonderful and sort of sucky sometimes.