WWWS: Divorce

21 Apr

This Wednesday’s post comes a la Mama Kat.
Mama's Losin' It

2.) Divorce Dreams…a tempting alternative? A disaster to be avoided? Ever an option? Advice? What’s your take?

Divorce, dissolution, dissolving the bonds of matrimony, the big “D”, divorcerony.   It might as well be Random Tuesday because I’m having a rough time pulling my thoughts together here.  Here’s my take…

Who in their married life hasn’t had one of those maddening arguments about  something completely stupid, then pondered single life.   I love my husband dearly, but there have been days when we’ve been less than civil to each other, and I’d be lying if I didn’t fess up to doing a little day dreaming.    But is it truly a tempting alternative?  No, I’m in it for the long haul.    

I wasn’t the first go-round though. I married at the tender age of 19 and it was not good.  The night he gave me the engagement ring, that I’d been saving for, he told me that he had to start our life together with honesty.  He’d been making out with another girl, he’d laid in her bed too, but categorically denied having sex.  I should have taken the hint, and asked for my money back on the ring, but the dress was non-refundable, and RSVPs were coming in.  I felt pressure to be a trooper and follow through. 

I was too young to trust my intuition and I walked down the aisle knowing that I was making a huge mistake.  During our year of marriage, I think he was faithful, but he didn’t seem to have much how shall I put it…. initiative. As the months marched on, my future seemed increasingly bleak.  I worked two jobs, and went to school full-time.  He also went to school, but loved to stay home to read comic books, and only looked for work sporadically.  One evening, after weeks of fighting, he told me, in all honesty, that he didn’t want to lose his “meal ticket.”   I ran out and bought myself a do-it-yourself divorce packet the next day. 

Knowing that I shouldn’t have married him in the first place, is something that I justify by telling myself that had I not done it, I wouldn’t have eventually found my way to Tim, and James wouldn’t be here.  But I made a commitment to another person, knowing that it absolutely the wrong thing to do, which is….wrong.   But should I have stayed married? I don’t think so.

Do I think that divorce is an option? Obviously.  There are people out there in terrible situations, much worse than those brought on by teenage stupidity, that should NOT stay legally bound.  Abuse…hello?!  But  some people treat marriage like speed dating, which I can’t wrap my head around.  I’m equally aware that my opinions are mine alone.  Share yours…


Posted by on April 21, 2010 in Weekly Writer's Workshop


2 responses to “WWWS: Divorce

  1. Pammie

    April 22, 2010 at 2:03 pm

    I’m living with my ex-husband. (I know – who does that?). More details on my little bloggie. Let’s just say that we were married for 6 years (1996-2002) and then took a 2 year break before getting ourselves in the right frame of mind. We’ve been “happily” together now for 6 years (2004-2010). I don’t think we’ll ever have to go through a separation again. The daydreaming is just that…daydreaming.

    If he had been the wrong guy for me then I’d been alright with a divorce and never looked back.


  2. Casey

    April 26, 2010 at 4:58 pm

    Wow, your first marriage sounds horrible. I was with a guy for six years and it was a similar situation but we never got hitched. I’m glad you moved on and found the right guy.. life is so much better with one of the good ones, no?



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