One of this week’s prompts got to me.
2.) Brea from Tomika’s Treasure Trove wants your advice: Quick question. I am new to the blogging world, having clocked up less than 2 weeks worth of posts, and I have just had an ‘Anonymous’ commenter slam me for blogging about my daughter, mentioning her by name, posting photos and up-to-date stories about her. I have not mentioned anywhere in my blog where we live, Country OR State, or what school she goes to. I have also seen, on several other blogs, that other parents do the same thing as me. Some even mention where they live. I was wondering, as a fellow blogger who posts about your family, what are your thoughts on the subject?
Brea- congratulations on launching your blog. It takes guts to put your life and writing skills out there. You are opening yourself up for criticism, but be brave, you’ll get far more support.
However, take what I have to say with a grain of salt, I don’t have a huge following. I secretly would welcome an anonymous visitor saying hurtful things because, well, that would mean that more people were dropping by. I am that pathetic.
But I do know what it feels like to received anonymous, mean-spirited comments in other situations. Anyone that criticizes, says hurtful things about the path you’ve chosen anonymously, is a coward. I don’t take much stock in what cowards have to say. When people share their opinions, face-to-face, or blog-to-blog, then I they have my un-divided attention.
I’ve been blogging for about a year, and I recently had a bad moment. My husband read my blog for the first time a few days ago, and he got really, really quiet. The longer this went on the worse I felt, I was having a real “uh oh” moment. While he read, my mind raced. Had I said something in jest that he would take the wrong way, had I over shared? He didn’t say anything for a long time, and I had to work myself up to ask what he thought. He liked what he saw, but it was a reminder to me to always be careful about what I talk about.
I do share a lot on my site, and I do it so that friends and family can keep in touch with our ‘doins. I write to document the moments that make being a parent a weird and fantastic, so that hopefully James can read this hot mess someday and see what it was like for him to be a growing kid, and for me to be his mom.
But while I’m blogging, I keep a few rules in mind that I set for myself when I started, just so that I never look back and kick myself for saying something that I shouldn’t have. The rules are meant to keep my family safe and keep me from getting fired.
Lizgizzy’s Rules of Blogging (like I’m a real expert- ha)
I don’t discuss where I work, what I do, who I do it for, or how I feel about what I do PERIOD. Mommy needs dinero on a regular basis to keep her kid’s enormous feet in kicks.
I won’t give out my address, post a picture that has our address in it, or, even post a picture that has a piece of mail with our address in it. No pictures with our license plates either.
If I think something might be hurtful to anyone in my family, it doesn’t get posted. I rarely post anything about extended family members either, and I wouldn’t without their permission. That being said, I’m not above saving up a few bon mots to share with whoever is lucky enough to be James’s first serious girlfriend…or boyfriend.
I will post pictures/videos; I want my family to read and SEE what is going on with us. I know that there are a lot of crazies out there. Someone could have stumbled across the picture of James in a cowboy hat and little else, and be rubbing it all over their body right this second, but I most likely I will never know.
I will use our names, if someone really wanted to find us they could. Good luck though, there are a gazillion people out there with the same name.
Are there a lot of twisted souls out there ? You bet. Do I think I’m putting my family in danger? No more so than when we go grocery shopping, or walking at the park. Someone could just as easily follow us home. The thought scares the crap out of me, but I can’t live being afraid.
I do this for my family and if they ever ask me to stop, I will. Brea, don’t let someone who is afraid to discuss their concerns face-to-face get you down. Ultimately, do what feels right for you and your daughter. Good luck with your writing I hope you keep sharing your stories.